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How much do you love yourself?

How much love we receive is proportional to how much love we give.  If you dislike some aspect of yourself, you cannot love that same quality in someone else. By being too hard on yourself, you’re limiting your ability to love others.

This test is based on seven important principles that are essential to Love Yourself First and to be OUT and Happy.  We call them The Seven Colours of Love:

  1. Welcoming
  2. Trust
  3. Forgiveness
  4. Freedom
  5. Respect
  6. Generosity
  7. Awareness.

Each question in the test will evaluate how loving you are in your relationship with yourself, hence in your relationship with others.

The result will empower you to visualize where you wish to be and how to get there.

How much do you love yourself?

Click Here to enter your email address in the Opt-in window and you will receive the password and the link to complete the test.

How much do you love yourself? Click Here | Find OUT! 

I am what I was called, so what?

I was born in 1962, in rural Quebec.  I am the youngest of a family of 9; I have 5 brothers and 3 sisters.  My older brother is 3 years older than me, and 3 years from our older brother.  We did not share the same friends or interest.

When I was a kid, I had one good buddy: Pierre-Paul, but our friendship ended when Pierre-Paul’s family moved far away; I was 7 years old.  I was never alone, there were always plenty of people at my house, my siblings and their friends, my cousins and other relatives who came to visit, but I did not have a close friend.

I was a loner but life was ok, I was low profile.  I had the privilege to grow up on a land that was located on the shore of the St-Laurence River and I spent lots of time walking the shore or exploring the fields and the woods.  My best friend was my mom.  I have plenty of imagination and I kept busy helping with the home chores, doing schoolwork, or my ultimate favorite time was playing with Lego blocks.  I focused on school and building Lego works.  I loved creating with Lego™ blocks!

The other kids on my street lived far and were of no common interest with me.  When I turned 12 and transitioned from elementary to High School; my life changed:  “My life changed from easy-breezy to a nightmare.  High School was a totally different civilization.  There were “kids” at that school who were young adults: 15 and 16 years old.  I was so unprepared for this; I was just a kid who had been floating on cloud number 9.  And since I was not tough looking, I was kind of delicate, I was tagged rapidly: faggot, queer, from the moment I stepped foot in that school by those older “kids”!

For me, every day at that school was a terror.  One day, I was picking up books from my locker and of these older kids got close to me.  I looked up and our eyes crossed; in a very aggressive way he hit the locker right next to mine, I can still hear the sound of his fist on the metal door, still looking me in the eyes and adding to the noise shouted: “I will kill you, FAGGOT!”  I stood there, powerless!  I felt the hate of this stranger; he knew nothing about me other than I looked like a good prowl and he attacked!

I could not comprehend how someone could hate me so much, I felt hated to my core, to my fiber, and I could do nothing to change that.  I froze!  He left!  I hated going to that school!  What were my choices?  Talking to my parents?  No way, I was way too scared that if I spoke, the school would not act and it would get even worse, I felt powerless!  The other choice was dropping out of school but I rejected that option because I had a dream.

I already knew I was different and I felt that my freedom would only happen when I could escape this small town and its minuscule mentality and move to the big city and live my life differently, my way.  I was aware of my sexual orientation already but I was way to scared to come out.  In the end, I am what I was called, now I say: So what?!  I wanted to live my life free.  Being homosexual is not a choice; living my homosexuality was one.  I wanted to live my gay life and from what I was reading and seeing on TV, Montreal meant Freedom, with a capital F.

Montreal is a 7 hours drive from my hometown.  My mom was overprotective but there is one thing that her and my dad had in common for all their kids.  They valued Education.  I knew that mom would never have allowed or encouraged me to move out of town but since there was no University in my hometown, I could use that as a reason to get out of there.  The only way “out” was going to University.  There was my perfect excuse to move away, to Freedom, capital F.  I now realize that I had unconsciously set the intention.  For my own survival, I felt that I needed to get out of there or I would die.

I was raised Catholic and even though I did, at the time, have dark thoughts and ideas; what saved me from ending it all was prayer and my faith.  I now pray differently and my faith remains.  I ended up coming to realize that my only way out was to get my grades and get forward in school.  I also realized and witnessed that while my bullying classmates were spending their time and energy in terrorizing kids like me; they were not passing their grades and they sank!  When 2 years later, I passed my grades with high scores and I changed school, they stayed behind.

At that time I chose to love myself first and the result was that I was improving my quality of life as my persecutors stayed behind.  Had I dropped out of school or had I not taken action in persevering in my study to get out, the turn out would have certainly been dramatically different; choosing to love myself first made the difference.

I was a young adult when I finished college and came time to go to University and as I mentioned previously, my mom was very possessive and protective but making sure that her kids would have education was her priority.  So, I knew she would not be pleased but she would not oppose my moving out of the family nest.  I chose myself first and I managed to get what I wanted to, well almost.  I did not move right away to Montreal.  I moved to the closest big town where there was a University, one hundred kilometers away from home.

My head and my heart were filled with hopes and dreams; I was Free, or was I?  To be continued…